Taking Over the World: A Surprisingly Easy Task
by WindyWords123
Summary: Robin and Kid Flash, age ten and twelve, respectively, get bored and decide to take over the world. It goes surprisingly well. (Pre-series, gen, from YJ anon meme)


It had been an awfully long, boring week.

It was the middle of the summer, which, while not necessary a bad thing, did mean that there was a lot less to do, compounded by a complete lack of_ any_ interesting villainous plots.

At the moment, Wally and Dick were fighting boredom by playing Mario Kart. Wally was losing. Badly.

"Dude, what if we took over the world?" Wally said randomly, driving backwards because, at this point, why not?

Dick neatly crossed the finish line. "It'd be kinda hard. 'Sides, what would we do with it?"

"The world, you mean?" Wally considered this conundrum. "We'd get everyone to give us candy." He said decisively.

Dick turned to stare at Wally for a moment, who was perched on the back of the black leather sofa. "Well, it _would_ be pretty fun... Alright, let's do it."

~-!-~

The first step of The Plan, as Wally dubbed it, was the internet.

Specifically, the Evil Overlord List.

Dick - or rather, Robin, because if they were going to take over the world they should do it in style* - had printed off two copies, pocketed one, and demanded that KF consult the list before he did anything.

Most of them didn't really apply, neither of them really got number 33*, and a few of the things listed were just strange. Still, it had some helpful advice and both of them promptly memorized the useful bits.

The second step of The Plan involved coming up with a base of operations and new uniforms; Batman probably had bugs all over their clothes and his mansion was a given. But they'd already ruled out civilian clothes on the basis that they weren't cool enough, so instead Robin recruited Alfred.

"Hey Alfred! Cn you make us new costumes? We're taking over the world and we think these ones might be bugged!" Dick said cheerfully.

"Pleeeease?" Wally added.

Alfred fell before the mighty power of their combined puppy dog eyes.

"Alright."

Dick and Wally beamed at each other and high fived. Dick noted that puppy dogs eyes were a possible weapon.

While Alfred was making them new costumes, Kid Flash scoped out possible bases. He finally decided that his awesome tree house would do. It had internet access and really comfortable beanie bags and everything. Robin vetoed it; not enough cover from the elements or anyone trying to bring them down. Wally countered with, "Well, _obviously_ we'll move to the White House as soon as we've conquered it, and do you have any better ideas?"

Robin considered. "An abandoned warehouse?"

"But those are so cliche! And they don't have any beanie bags!"

"We could _move_ the beanie bags." Robin pointed out.

"What if it already has criminals in it?" Kid Flash said. "Sides, it probly wouldn't have internet access!"

Robin shrugged. "I can hook up with the JL satellite. Then we don't _need_ internet access. And we can totally beat up any criminals lurking around."

Kid Flash pouted. "Fine. What warehouse should we get, then?"

"Are there any good ones in Central?" Robin said. "That's quieter, and Batman could probly stop us easier if we stay in Gotham."

"Ooh, I know this one in Keystone! And Keystone's even smaller than Central, so there's even less stuff to worry about! I'll go move the beanie bags." Kid Flash zoomed off. Robin resumed playing Mario Kart on single player.

"Your costumes are ready!" Alfred said. He'd actually had a spare Robin suit, which he'd simply scanned for bugs with the machine Batman usually used for that purpose, and Batman kept all sorts of odd things around the Cave, so he'd had the appropriate cloth for Kid Flash's costume. It was a simple enough matter to put it together.

"Sweet! Thanks Alfred!" Robin said, beaming at his butler.

Kid Flash reappeared. "I've got the base all set up!" He said.

"Okay! Let's get changed and then you can run me there."

The boys quickly got changed.

Kid Flash then ran the pair to a random forest. He was pretty sure they were in Maine somewhere. "I was just thinking, we just talked about our plans in your house, and like you said, it's probly bugged. D'you wanna find someplace else?"

"Hmm. That was kinda stupid. Oh well, now it can be a red herring!" Robin said, grinning at their good luck. "Okay, so... should we try something else? Like, maybe some random small town. And we need minions, too, so we need space."

"Huh." Kid Flash considered. "We should take over a school! It'll be abandoned and it would have lots of space and stuff!"

"Ooh, good idea." Robin said. "Let's find someplace that doesn't have a hero."

"How about..." Kid Flash mentally browsed through random cities he'd visited, and finally said, "Denver? It's in Colorado, and it's pretty big, so it'll be hard to find us, but there's no official hero in all of Colorado."

"Okay." Robin said agreeably.

The beanie bags were once again moved. Robin picked the lock of a convenient back door and they settled in the computer lab.

"Alright, so we probly need minions, like I said." Robin said. "I mean, we gotta have people for distractions and stuff, and we're awesome but we probly can't hold off armies an' stuff unless we have armies of our own."

"We could recruit Speedy, and Aqualad!" Kid Flash said. "And I bet Trickster and Piper would help, too! They're Rouges but they wouldn't betray us if we're taking over the world. An' we could give them candy, too." He added, as an afterthought.

"Yeah, but that's still probly not enough people." Robin said. "We need, like, a bajillion people."

"Mind control?" Wally said.

"Yeah, but we don't know how, and then if someone messes with it our plan is ruined." Robin said.

"What about, like, tricking people into it? Like, online, we bribe people with stuff and then they, like, go out and fight for us and stuff. Oh! And we know all the League's secret IDs, so we can blackmail them into working for us too!" Kid Flash said.

"So what do we wanna do, anyway? I mean, take over the world, but does that mean that everyone answers to us or what? If that's it then we just need to get all the governments to answer to us, right? And then we can make them give us body guards and stuff." Robin said.

"We should just blackmail everyone!" Kid Flash said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, but... huh. Y'know what? I should, like, hack the atomic bomb command things, and then threaten nuclear war, and then everyone agrees to let us rule everything!" Robin said.

"Yeah! And we should get Mars and stuff on our side! They _gotta _surrender if Martians are about to invade!"

"But we'd need to go to space."

"We could hijack a spaceship!"

"It would still take a really long time."

"Yeah, but... I wish I could run in space..." Kid Flash pouted. "Well, then we get Atlantis and all the villains on our side! I bet Aqualad would help us!"

"Wellll... Aquaman _is _the king, so if we get him to do stuff, then we rule the country! But the villains aren't really, like, connected or anything. There's just a buncha groups." Robin said.

"Well, my Rouges at least, an'... I dunno, you're probly right about the other guys. I don't even wanna try with _your _villains." Wally shuddered.

"Okay. Sooo you go recruit people, and I guess I'll start hacking the atomic command chain stuff." Robin said.

"Alright!" Kid Flash zoomed off.

They'd both met Aqualad about a month ago, and though contact was made much harder by the fact that Atlantis was, obviously, under the sea, but there _were _ways. Namely taking advantage of the system that alerted Aquaman whenever there was a crisis. Kid Flash didn't really get how it worked, but Robin had made it so all he really had to do was call, so it didn't really matter.

"Hey Aqualad! Me an' Robin are taking over the world! Wanna help?" Kid Flash offered cheerfully.

"You are... taking over the world?" Aqualad said, seemingly confused by the simple concept.

"Yeah! You should come meet me at, uh... Killian Bay. It's in California!"

"Okay." Aqualad said doubtfully. He didn't _really _have anything to do today, so it was probably alright.

"My King, may I go take over the world with Kid Flash and Robin?" He asked, politely.

Arthur Curry looked at his protege strangely before agreeing. "Yes, you may." They were probably playing some sort of game, he decided.

"Thank you."

Aqualad made his way towards the surface.

~-!-~

"Okay, so Rob's taking over the nuclear stuff an' I think he's gonna sabotage JL stuff too, so then we've got most of the governments, but we probly still need Atlantis and stuff. An' I'm gonna go recruit my Rouges after this." Kid Flash explained the moment Kaldur crawled onto the pier.

"May I ask why you are taking over the world?" Aqualad inquired carefully.

"Well, I guess we were just bored. 'Sides, it'll be fun! We're gonna make people give us candy! Or fish, I guess, if you want. Or seaweed or something. What do you guys eat, anyway?" He said.

Aqualad looked at the younger boy, a bit skeptical.

"An' if you help us get Atlantis, you can be ruler of it!" Kid Flash added, generously. "Like, you can make people do whatever! You just gotta help us, 'cause I don't think bombs or anything would really be too effective and Rob's mostly gonna do lotsa hacking, and electricity doesn't really, y'know, _work _underwater so we can't really get Atlantis like we're gonna get everything else."

The idea of ruling Atlantis... Well. It _would _be kind of cool, and they probably weren't too serious about keeping it for long...

"You wouldn't have to do any chores!" Kid Flash said.

"Alright. What is your plan for Atlantis?" Aqualad said, thinking through scenarios. His people had many warriors.

"Welllll, we were thinking you could blackmail Aquaman. Or, or, do you have any friends that could help out?"

Aqualad considered carefully. "I suppose. I believe... Yes, I have a way to pull this off."

"Great!" And with that, Kid Flash was gone.

Aqualad sighed. What had he gotten himself into?

He executed a perfect swan dive off the pier and swam back to Atlantis.

He had a queen to bargain with.

~-!-~

Meanwhile, Robin was cheerfully hacking the atomic bomb command chains.

He didn't actually plan to _do _anything with them, but still, it was a good way to get people to agree with him.

He cackled madly, just on principle. He'd already hacked the US; it _had _been a bit of a challenge, but either the JL technologies were based on their systems or their systems were based on the JL's, because they were pretty similar.

Come to think of it, he should probably take over the JL systems, too.

~-!-~

Wally's next target was his Rouges.

"Hi Captain Cold!" He said, cheerfully.

"Kid, you're too young to be in here." Captain Cold said gruffly. Technically, this was true; he was sitting at the counter of The Red Fox, a bar the Rouges had sort of claimed by virtue of hanging out there a lot. They usually paid, mostly because otherwise they'd have to resort to warehouses which were considerably less comfortable and contained considerably less alcohol.

"Yeah, yeah. Me an' Robin an' Aqualad are taking over the world. Wanna help?" Kid Flash said. "We need to, like, recruit all the villains so the governments are pressured on all sides."

"Kid, plenty of people have tried to take over the world. None of them have succeeded." Captain Cold pointed out.

"Yeaaah, but they weren't Robin and Aqualad and me! Aqualad's gonna get Atlantis and I'm recruiting everyone and Rob's gonna hijack the nuclear command chain and we're gonna blackmail the Justice League with their secret IDs and stuff!" Kid Flash said, brimming with enthusiasm, as usual.

"The kid has a point." Piper said contemplatively. "I mean, they _are _the Justice League's sidekicks, so they're not going to even try to hurt them, and they know their secret identities."

Kid Flash nodded rapidly. "Yeah, so will you help? I bet you guys could get a buncha villains together and Piper could hypnotize people into working for us and stuff!"

Captain Cold thought about it. It wasn't as if there was too much to lose, and if it worked they stood to gain a lot, if only street cred after the kids inevitably lost control. In the meantime, there would probably be enough chaos to get away with a lot of smaller, less noticeable crimes. Besides, they hadn't really done anything big for a while.

"Pleeeease?" Kid Flash asked, his eyes going impossibly wide.

"Oh, alright. Fine." Captain Cold said.

"Yay!" The kid rushed out the door, almost knocking it off its hinges.

Captain Cold turned to his Rouges. Most of them were already here, luckily. It had been a slow few days. "Alright, here's the plan..."

*Robin's sense of style is at odds with the rest of the world's, as evidenced by the scaly underoos he was still wearing at that point in time.

*33 - "I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions."

Evil Overlord List can be found here: www. eviloverlord lists/overlord. html

If it still doesn't work, just google search it.

I have no idea when all the sidekicks become sidekicks besides the ones that occur within the series, so I'm not sure the bits with Roy, Wally, and Kaldur are accurate. Sorry.

Denver's a real place; Killian Bay isn't.

Any suggestions are welcome!


End file.
